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Hong Kong society
OpinionHong Kong Opinion
Alice Wu
Alice Wu

Opinion | Hong Kong mothers shouldn’t have to apologise for demands of parenting

  • Despite governments around the world fretting over falling birth rates, society still puts up many barriers to mothers returning to the workforce
  • This Mother’s Day, let’s work to help mothers feel truly supported rather than penalised for choosing to have children and also wanting to work

Reading Time:3 minutes
Why you can trust SCMP
A boy and his mother at a park in Sham Shui Po on May 7. Despite the heavy attention on the deciling birth rate in Hong Kong and many other societies, barriers to motherhood and prejudice against working mothers make having children a difficult choice for many women. Photo: Yik Yeung-man
Alice Wu

I am a mother of a five year old. It has taken me four years to fully embrace that title.

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It’s not that I didn’t like the title – it’s one I’m immensely honoured and humbled to hold. But I struggled with being defined solely by motherhood. I was perhaps naive to believe it would be part of my identity and not wipe out the rest.

Motherhood is wonderful, challenging, overwhelming, chaotic, exhausting – and more. However, when it comes to work – and by that I mean for mothers who, for whatever reason, choose to pursue a professional life in addition to parenting – motherhood is not a curriculum vitae booster.

I am the first to admit I have it good; I have support that I know is not readily available to others. I would not be able to write, do my work and take up projects without my mother, who has been hands-on with my child since Day 1. There’s also my husband, who has remained positive and involved despite his own struggles with being a new father.

On top of that, I am blessed with a domestic worker who has done so much for the home and taken care of my child as her own. My son’s paternal grandparents are actively involved. His teachers and our friends have all been pillars of constant support for the family. It truly takes a village to raise a child, and my village is the reason I can have a life in addition to being a mother.

03:05

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I, along with most mothers, can attest to the fact that it is not easy. Our bodies – including our brains, according to some studies – undergo changes while pregnant and post-partum. The baby becomes an all-consuming focus for many mothers. This is how we survive as a species, and why parental leave exists.
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