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Being Chinese | Why must Chinese parents make children dread piano?

  • Music lessons are practically a rite of passage for Asian children but when forced, they can strip our kids of a lifelong enjoyment of music

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Piano lessons are a rite of passage for many Chinese children, but how many continue to play as adults? Photo: Handout

When I was five, my parents bought me a piano. It was a very East Asian thing to do. East Asian parents tend to buy their children either a piano or violin and sign them up for lessons, and for me it was the piano. It was a dark mahogany Baldwin, and a novelty for me to sit on the bench and swing my legs, my feet just grazing the floor.

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An ingrained memory: my piano teacher looking at me sternly as I started playing a tune I had heard. I could listen to songs such as “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and then play the tune perfectly on the piano, but my teacher didn’t necessarily like that I didn’t play “by the book”, never mind that I might have been exhibiting signs of musical genius.

After a hiatus, I had a new piano teacher – an elderly woman who also led the church choir. My sister and I both took lessons from her and even performed at a concert held in her living room. But I disliked the metronome and found it somewhat scary (to me, it resembled an ancient device of torture). After I decided to disregard it and play instead to my own beat, my teacher suggested I find something else to my liking other than the piano. I was 11 – and I decided that I would play the piano in my own time and just the way I liked.

After my parents divorced, when I was 16, the piano disappeared (likely donated) and was never mentioned again. Yet, despite the litany of disapproving piano teachers who quit and the disappearance of my childhood piano, I never lost my love for the instrument.

I missed the weight of the keys and the syncing of the left and right hands that magically produced something beautiful. After a long day at work, I would listen to a piano piece on my smartphone and it would perk me up. At church, I secretly revelled in the hymns because they were accompanied by the piano.

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Piano lessons have been a rite of passage for most of my East Asian friends, who either remember taking lessons or have signed their children up for them. While most who played no longer do and can offer no concrete reason except to say, “I really don’t have time for it”, they were adamant about their children learning.

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Talented Chinese girl plays piano and guzheng at the same time

Talented Chinese girl plays piano and guzheng at the same time
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