Same-sex weddings: an insider’s guide to how to plan one
Organising a same-sex ceremony – with few traditions and protocols to follow – often means couples have to make it up as the go along. Here are some tips from a man who’s been through it himself.
Planning a wedding is stressful for any couple. But with few traditions and protocols to lean on, same-sex couples have the added challenge of having to reinvent the proverbial wheel and make it up as they go along.
The key to a successful wedding celebration is having the right mindset. Gay or straight, the focus should be on having a good time and nothing else. So don’t sweat the small stuff and follow the golden rule that less is more
Sometimes even seemingly straightforward questions may trip them up: whose name should go first on the invitation? Should they keep their spouse’s name? What should the brides or grooms wear to avoid looking like twins?
Who makes the list?
As a general rule of thumb, invite only people who are most important to you – those you really want to be there by your side when you say “I do”.
You may feel the pressure to fit everyone in for fear of offending the uninvited. Don’t.
Some same-sex couples face the heartache that their non-accepting parents may be conspicuously absent from the wedding. Don’t let it spoil your celebration. Instead, focus on the fact you’ll be surrounded by people who wish you nothing but happiness ever after
Many couples choose to have a destination wedding for the precise reason that it is a self-selecting process – only close friends and key family members are willing to take the trouble to travel.
It’s a diplomatic way to leave out distant relatives and acquaintances and keep the guest list manageable.
Yet the opposite problem may arise. Some same-sex couples have to deal with the heartache that their religious or non-accepting parents (or other close family members) may be conspicuously absent from the wedding party.
As disappointing as that may be, don’t let it spoil your celebration. Instead, focus on the fact that you’ll be surrounded by people who love you and wish you nothing but happiness ever after.
