All by myself: a single woman’s guide to having fun in a world built for couples

Table for one, I told the server, who swiftly seated me. I thought I’d caught a lightning fast look of surprise when I said “one”. I was all decked out in my black heels and evening dress. “Are you waiting for someone? If so I can be on the lookout,” he said. “A friend might join me later,” I replied, with the emphasis on “might”.

The server’s question wasn’t a surprise. After all, it was a Friday evening, a classic date night, and this was the Carmel Mission Inn, the low key yet swanky Californian establishment owned by Clint Eastwood and located in one of the wealthiest spots in Monterey County.

After a half an hour of sipping a glass of pinot noir, the girlfriend who said she might join me arrived and we fell into lively conversation over mojitos and a generous buffet. We enjoyed a few ’80s tunes played by a live band and then she looked at her watch. “I should head back; where are you parked?” she asked.

“I’m staying here,” I said, relishing the look of surprise. “Just myself. Decided to treat myself after a long week,” I smiled. “Ah, good idea,” she said. “We should all do that sometimes.”

How true. The idea of a weekend getaway solo seems so straightforward, but surprisingly my girlfriends still see it as groundbreaking. A single woman engaging in activities solo: weekend getaways, dinner, films, wine tastings, museums and even amusement parks, still feels like foreign territory. But why such surprise? The reality is that many men travel solo, and even dine and see films alone, and are nonchalant about it. So why should it be different for women?

I can’t recall the exact moment when I decided to take the plunge and do activities alone. It might have started when my ex-husband and I drifted apart and being together became less fun. I had more laughs going to Disney with a group of fellow singles than going with him, and besides, being single allowed us to cut through lengthy lines.